Book Review: BuyMort Grand Opening

I have no idea what it was that kept me from reading this book sooner. It wasn’t the cover—I’ve seen worse. Maybe it was the title? But honestly, if I could pinpoint the reason, I’d send a strongly worded letter to myself. Because I’m actually a bit annoyed I waited this long to pick up what turned out to be an absolute gem.

As usual, I went the audiobook route—and believe me when I say, the narration is chef’s kiss. Top tier. From the instantly recognizable character voices to the deliberate, exaggerated pronunciation of BUYMORT every time the system name is used, it’s damn near perfect. I’ve lost count of how many times the snake lady’s dramatic hissed “BUYMORT” made me laugh out loud in public like a lunatic.

This book is a rare find—a LitRPG that actually brings something fresh to the table. And as someone who consumes this genre like it’s a limited-time offer about to be pulled from the shelves, that’s saying something. It’s not just stats and grind and dungeon crawls (though there’s enough of that to scratch the itch). No, this one leans hard into a concept so clever, so weirdly believable, it makes you side-eye your Amazon app.

In this world, BUYMORT is a universal shopping system beamed directly into your brain by some mysterious, likely malevolent—or maybe just cheeky—entity. Want something? Need something? Think about it too hard and bam: you get a personalized ad straight to the dome, complete with user reviews, star ratings, and a price tag in “morties.” It’s satire, it’s commentary, it’s immersive… and it’s hilarious.

And just when you think you’ve got a handle on the system, it throws you for another loop. Sleep purchases? Subconscious transactions? That one moment when the MC realises his dream self has blown through his budget on emotional comfort purchases? Brilliant.

The story has heart, too. Underneath the laughs and the system shenanigans, there’s genuine character growth, worldbuilding that doesn’t take itself too seriously but still pulls you in, and a clever narrative thread that keeps you hooked.

All in all, BuyMort isn’t just another ticked box on my LitRPG binge list—it’s a standout. A weird, wonderful, consumerist fever dream of a book that somehow manages to be both parody and solid storytelling. I’ll definitely be diving straight into book two. But first, let me just check if I’ve accidentally bought anything in my sleep…

Five glowing morties. Highly recommended.

You can get it here: https://amzn.to/3EuzfkL (Affiliate Link)